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When farm animals die out in the open,
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"Sure,
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Rather than letting such boring truths go unexaggerated,
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Leech,
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Before you start getting all judgy,
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While it sounds like the sort of thing that comes down to us from the days of witch burnings,
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"We don’t know what this is,
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There’s another important thing that happened in 1995,
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The movie is about an alien creature,
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File this in your porn drive under "Cleanse Hands With Holy Water After,
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The creature Tolentino saw in her yard had bulbous eyes and spikes up and down its back,
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The result of one alien fucking an entire zoo,
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It was similar enough that an editor from Skeptical Inquirer,
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When he finally interviewed Tolentino,
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4. El Dorado,
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"Hi,
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With easy money on their minds,
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For some reason,
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"That wealth will buy me a gentleman’s death from mercury poisoning,
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rather than a pauper’s death from syphilis,
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It turns out El Dorado was a real thing,
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Since the conquistadors’ attitude toward all gold was decidedly Scrooge McDuckian,
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"There’s a whole city of diamond blow job robots deep inside that uncharted jungle,
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